Too many thoughts, not enough time

“Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God, to a Christian, says:

‘No, not until you are satisfied with living loved by Me alone and have an intensely personal, unique relationship with Me alone. I love you my child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I planned for you. I want you to stop planning, stop wanting, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best.
Please allow me to bring it to you…just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things…keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing I am…keep learning and listening to the things I tell you. You must wait. Don’t be anxious.
Don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things you want, just keep looking to Me or you will miss what I want to show you. And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream of.
You see, until you are ready, and even to this very moment, to have both of you ready at the same time, until you are both satisfied with Me and the life I prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience that love that exemplifies your relationship with me and is thus perfect love. And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me and to enjoy the everlasting union of beauty and love.

I am God.
Believe and be satisfied.’”

--St. Anthony (1247)


and

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Thomas Merton